By Erin Naimi, RDN, CEDRD

1. Lose Weight

2. Get in Shape

3. ……………….

These are the most common New Year’s resolutions I hear from people, and unfortunately they are also the most fruitless: the pursuit of weight loss and getting into shape.

Of course we all have the best of intentions and initially, we feel certain that this time (if we just try a little harder) we will succeed at these awesome endeavors. Let’s contemplate what generally happens after the first few weeks of restricting all the carbs in our diet, or when we get worn down from fighting traffic to get to the gym after a long day of work? More often than not, rather than re-negotiating the goals, people feel defeated and give up. They feel like failures and lose all motivation (until next year). The failure though, is not an indication of laziness or lack of willpower. If we consider all the other areas of life where you’ve been able to follow through and succeed, you’d have to question why managing food intake or exercising such daunting and futile tasks? Simply put, the goals themselves are a set-up for failure.

The challenge in achieving any goal is as much about the type of intentions we set, as well as how we go about cultivating them. Not unlike gardening, we need healthy seeds and fertile soil to see our saplings blossom.

Some advice: First, please cross those resolutions off your list.

Next, if you want to “lose weight or get in shape”, FORGET about monitoring the numbers on the scale or ditching the carbs. Instead, consider the habits that may not be working in your favor and if you’re willing to address them. Do you tend to finish everything on your plate regardless of how full you feel? Do you skip breakfast and/or lunch, but tend to overeat once you get home at night? Do you tend to eat meals in front of the TV or iPad or iPhone? Do you find yourself eating emotionally when faced with uncomfortable feelings or boredom? Do you have a list of “food rules” that you often find yourself breaking? I can keep going, but you get the point.

Be honest and clear about the habits that interfere in your intentions. Negotiate (with yourself) about the habits that you are willing to modify- and remember it’s not an all or nothing deal.

At meals, pay attention (and listen to) to your hunger and fullness, rather than berating yourself about having bread or dessert. Consider turning off all electronic companions at meal and instead notice the taste and your experience of the meal. If you notice yourself eating when you’re not hungry, ask yourself if you’re feeling bored, upset, or distressed in any way- and consider what would feel soothing as an alternative to food (take a walk, call someone, read a book, watch TV, or simply sit with your feelings).

Modifying deep-rooted habits is not an easy task. Get support, be patient, and acknowledge each and every success along the way- and don’t get stuck in the set-backs, they are inevitable. Imagine each goal as a new seed that is being planted in your mind, and the old habits as the weeds that will dry out if they are not watered. Water only the seeds you would like to cultivate with the attention they need, and watch your intentions manifest.